The Opposite of “Friendzoning”

What do we call the act of forcing women into a relationship-or-bust situation, and why don’t we have a word for it?

Yesterday I trekked up to a coffee shop in my new neighborhood in Astoria, Queens. It had been a turbulent day mental health-wise and I needed to unwind the knots with some steaming tea and a stack of projects to write.

As I stood up to leave a few hours later, the friendly guy who had been tap-tapping his keyboard in synchrony chimed in, “Are you a copywriter, too?”

For the next 15 minutes we chatted with friendly banter. We had a lot in common — we both just returned from traveling Europe (Amsterdam was the best, right?), learned a lot about ourselves, worked in tech marketing, loved the remote lifestyle, and had ambitions to pursue self-employment.

Towards a natural lull, my new friend asked my if I’d want to check out a bar in the neighborhood next Friday since I’m new to the area.

“Sure!” I said. But sensing a rapid turn in the conversation, I added cautiously, “But just as a heads up, I’m in a relationship. However, I’d love to hang out as friends!”

The mood shifted dramatically; his kind smile fell. And despite everything we’d just bonded over, despite exchanging…