It’s interesting and helpful for me to know there are people out there with your perspective. The people we surround ourselves with tend to fit our own narratives and we can get tunnel vision as a result.
I’d just encourage you to keep in mind that not all men are interested in fishing, hunting, “man caving,” fixing cars, talking openly about their sex lives, and avoiding one-on-one platonic relationships with women. These men don’t typically “fit in” with the uber-masculine version you hold for your gender. It sounds like the men you surround yourself with as friends do, and it may be helpful to acknowledge your own echo chambers. Neither “type of man” is problematic. Both are valid. In fact, I’d argue that masculinity is a spectrum as is femininity. Men who don’t agree with you or fit your notion of masculinity don’t threaten your own masculinity. You don’t need to deny their existence to prove your own.
The less you claim to speak for all men (as you don’t want women to), the more you might welcome and encounter men into your bubble who don’t fit your version and are frankly offended by it. These men tend not to associate with such friendships anyway; they either laugh along in public and agree with what’s being said but hold different beliefs privately, or prefer the company of similarly minded men or women, which is why you’re probably unaware of their existence. (Have you considered that “They’re lying to you” could also be flipped around, with some men lying to you to adhere to your perspective?”) Men do complain in private about the kind of masculine and bravado crap their friends pull. Men do worry about their friends actions when they disrespect women. Meeting such people could challenge and broaden your perspective. However, if it’s something you don’t welcome and would rather deny, you have power in your choice, which I respect.
Naturally there are women who would cringe at my viewpoint, just as there are men who would cringe at your notion of being sexually motivated by a biologically-driven meat-suit. Studies prove your version and others disprove it — it depends what you’re reading.
I understand you have a lot to say about #MeToo; there are other forums for that. I myself have been assaulted (I was literally grabbed by the crotch while walking to the bathroom at a concert three days ago—and since I know you’re wondering, I had my winter coat on), and while I had that man kicked out of the concert for my safety, I don’t go around saying all men are to blame. If I thought that, I wouldn’t waste my time trying to broaden people’s perspectives on these issues.
My article set out to establish the truisms with multiple viewpoints; to help educate and encourage people who might not see the impact of their narrow perspectives on women but are sympathetic, emotionally intelligent, unthreatened, and welcome a change. If you do not welcome a change in your viewpoint, absolutely fine. You can continue trolling (which, by my definition, includes no acknowledgement or consideration of the points laid out—Why even spend your time reading, then?) or choose to consume more information that fits your narrative elsewhere.
